Requiem for a Jerk

Listen to the organ that i play for you
Since you've got no choice
Hear me through
You look as though you like it
But you seem reserved
Its my requiem for a jerk


I wrote it in the bath
On my breakfast tray
Cut my appetite for the day
I tried to raise a toast
Ate this second verse
But our requiem for a jerk
Its an afternoon for mourners
But the tears dont come
Got what you deserved
The maximum
Well im getting sentimental but its too much work
Whats our requiem to a jerk


While the devil left a message
Cool dry paradise
Has a lot to hot
Not too nice
Try to talk in code if you've got the nerve
Even i dont need stupid jerks


Listen to the organ that i play for you
Since you've got no choice
Hear me through
You look as though you like it
In your woolen shirt
Its my requiem for a jerk


I wrote it in the bath
On my breakfast tray
Cut my appetite for the day
On your white washed face
Moose steel prison wall
Alright stupid jerk
Thats all

[TV] The Damn Show

NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW

Rated R for pervasive strong crude and sexual content, language, drug use and nudity.

"The DAMN! Show like you've never seen it, perfect quality digital picture and sound - complete with interactive menus, skit selection, never before seen footage, out takes, bloopers, cast and character bios! Best of all 10 Episodes. Includes Yucko busting balls all over the country, Rack Em Rack Willie, Blind Date with a Crackwhore, Clayporn and much more! Now with digital audio." - The Damn Show official website

tankervision is a sketch-comedy program, created by Waco O'Guin and Roger Black, that aired on MTV2. It premiered July 8, 2005 as part of the channel's "Sic 'Em Friday" programming block. Stankervision is a repackaged version of "The DAMN! Show", a sketch comedy show that was created in Athens, Georgia in 1998. Yucko the Clown is featured on the show.

Extreme Humor
Stankervision's sketches follow a format similar to those of Jackass and The Howard Stern Show, in that the point is to push the limits of humor. Among the regular sketches are Yucko The Clown approaching people on the street and insulting them (often adding curse words and lewd gestures), mimes who start out acting like 'normal' mimes, then turning to violent behavior (one such sketch, for example, has one mime making a withdrawal from an ATM, only to be held up and 'shot' by a second mime, who in turn is accosted by two 'police' mimes and beaten - all in the view of the public), and 'Dear Stankervision', where questions are posed to the creators, Waco and Roger (one such 'letter' asks how laxatives work, which is followed by actors in costume displaying the effects of taking pills to relieve congestion).

Stankervision also features some cartoons, but in Stankervision style. One regular such cartoon is about the adventures of "Inebriated The Koala", which was created by Waco O'Guin in 1993 and is introduced as "everyone's favorite eucalyptus eating marsupial", to which the koala replies, "Eucalyptus? You can lick THIS!" as he points to his crotch. - Wikipedia

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The Damn! Show (2005) Volume 1

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Random Vocaroo

And by random I mean; Beautiful singing, stories about alcoholic dads, Irish spokenword, girls asking you to touch yourself, stories about doors...

The Chronicles of Niania

The Chronicles of Niania

by DmpstrBaby

the Tampon & the Hairy Chest.
Peter was walking down the street with his usual douchebag face, looking down everyone who dared to look him in the eyes. He was going to his favorite restaurant, it was lunch time and he had a craving for tea and crumpets.

Peter never saw the open manhole, because Peter was too busy pointing his nose at the sky.

He fell and plunged deep into the dark unknown. He finally saw the dirty bottom coming at him, and then a whiff of shit stench violated his nose. He wretched, closed his eyes and crack! His neck broke and body lay lifeless half buried in the neighborhood shit and piss.



It was Peter's funeral and everyone was mourning. His brother and sister knew that if he could speak, Peter would have been a complete jerk, reminded them that if he had been in charge, it would have been done right.

Claire had to make a break for the bathroom; her tampon was over flowing and had begun to leak down her leg. She was pleasantly surprised to see that the funeral's home toilet wasn't occupied.

She sat and pushed, plop. She felt better dropping the large turd that had been stuck in her intestines. She removed her tampon and inserted a fresh one. Claire got up and bent down to flush. She heard a blop! Her necklace had fell in.

"Oh no! My precious necklace. A gift from my great grandmother," Claire exclaimed in her usual British accent, of the 19th century that makes everyone in England sound like they are highly educated intellectuals.

Claire’s hand plunged in, pushing the tampon to one side and the big deuce on the other. She could see her necklace just laying there at the bottom. She tried  to reach it but instead of grabbing it she pushed it even deeper. Now elbow deep into the toilet hole she finally grabbed the fucking thing. As she was about to pull out she felt something taking hold of her wrist and pulled her in.

Claire cried for help.

She felt relieved when she heard the door open, "Are you ok sweetie," Uncle Tom asked?
She sobbed, it was a really bad TV show where the contestant had to choose between losing her arm to whatever is pulling on it, or asking Uncle Tom to come in and save her.
“Who needs two arms anyway,” she pondered?

Claire's arm was all the way in, but when she thought things were going to start breaking, her head began to bend and twist out of shape, making its way down the hole. Her entire body was sucked in. She really hated the idea of dying by drowning in her own shit, which was so not 19th century British like.

Claire felt like she was still alive and unhurt, but that was impossible. When her brain stopped trying to make sense of it, she focused on where she was and her surroundings. She was cold and realized, she was sitting in snow. That made sense.

Something stirred and approached her, "Hi I ‘m puke and you are the chosen one."

In front of her was standing a naked man like beast with horns, and enough chest fur to cover the top of the things body. The bottom part was bare skin with a thin waist and long legs. Looking between the thing's legs, she was disappointed when noticing its genitalia. It could probably fit into her nostril, Claire thought.

Puke noticed she was spending a lot of time looking at his crotch and proclaimed, "Welcome to Niania! Where performance is what matters."

"Niania?" Claire exclaimed!

"Yes, Niania, a kingdom of magic and talking animals."

"Oh! Just like Oz," she asked?

"NO ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

She smiled, "but the talking animals and wizard.”

He growled, "I never said wizard, I said magic. It has nothing to do with Oz. Now let’s get out of here before the evil queen's guard shows up."

"Are we going to meet with the Mad Hatter,” she asked?

"With wh... NO! This is a completely independent fantasy world. We have no affiliation what so ever with any other coma induced world, now shut the fuck up, and follow me woman!"

Claire remembered that her mother once told her never to argue with a man who wears no pants, she got up and followed him.

"Say Puke, any way I can get some winter clothing soon?"

"Why? You're the chosen one, the cold doesn't affect you!"

"But my toes are kind of blue and black, I fear I'll be losing them soon."

Puke looked at her feet, grabbed a knife and removed a large piece of his chest air. The magical chest hair transformed into winter boots.

"Could I please have some more? You see my panties did not travel with me."

"Panties! Does it look like I can magically make panties appear?"

END Scene one

A big thanks to S.G. for proof reading it anyway! Hug&kisses

UPDATE 12/19/12:
Some text edit. Also, I may be working on the next scene..

[NSFW] Paper Hentai (Updated!)

NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW

Sadly the author is unknown. *Read update at the bottom of the post!

 On's Guro Paperchild Gallery

(On's website)

 

Update: 

Moar? MOAR!

Here, here and check this thread on Reddit.

UPDATE!

Website of "On", the creator! Including New Work from December 2012

I'm very happy to have finally found his site and being able to give credit where credit is due!

On's DeviantArt profile (Clean)

Complete set on g.e-hentai.org (Updated by On)

Like On's work? Visit GuroChan for more!

The Chronicles of Niania

Coming soon to DPTLC.

Read the intro

UPDATE 12/19/12:
I have no idea why this post suddenly became popular? If you don't have a QR code reader or want to read the first part of that story click here!

[Video] מינדי הקוסם פרק (Mindy Wizard)

Ok so you won't understand what they are saying unless you speak geberish (Arab or Hebrew most likely :D ) but the context is pretty clear.

In it's usual Christian pleasing content only, Youtube delete the account.

Other work from Mindy Wizard can be found here.

Mindy Wizard (מינדי הקוסם פרק) on Facebook

[Movie] Les 3 P'tits Cochons

Les 3 p'tits cochons (English: The 3 Little Pigs) is a 2007 Quebec French-language comedy film. The directorial debut of comedian and actor Patrick Huard, the film won the Golden Reel Award at the 28th Genie Awards and the Billet d'or at the Jutra Awards as top-grossing film of 2007 in Quebec.

Two brothers (Legault, Lemay-Thivierge) discuss the positive and negative aspects of adultery as their mother lies beside them in a coma, while their brother Rémi (Doucet) attempts to discourage them. Their conversations become more explicit as time passes. - Wikipedia

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Les 3 P'tits Cochons French- eng subs

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[Movie] Subway

Subway is a 1985 French film directed by Luc Besson, starring Isabelle Adjani and Christopher Lambert and is part of the Cinema du look movement.

Having stolen some compromising documents, a man known as Fred (Lambert) takes refuge in the underground world of the Paris Métro. While the henchmen of the gangster owner of the documents chase him, Fred develops a relationship with the gangster's young trophy wife Héléna (Adjani) who is bored with her gilded-caged life.
Fred decides to form a band and perform in the subway. Among the band members are the Drummer (played by Jean Reno) and the Bass Player (Éric Serra).
At a performance with the newly formed band (where Fred has paid off the actual performers at an announced concert with money from a robbery and put his band in their place) he is shot by the henchmen of Héléna's husband before she can reach him to warn him of the approaching danger. The film ends with her kneeling beside him, Fred lying on his back looking content and singing along to the band playing in the background. The ending is left open as to what actually happens in the growing love relation between Fred and Helena — and to whether he survives. - Wikipedia

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French Film Collection(Film 75) SUBWAY (1985)

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[Movie] District 13 (French with Eng subs)

District 13 (French: Banlieue 13) is a 2004 French action film directed by Pierre Morel and written and produced by Luc Besson. It has also been released as District B13 and Barrio 13 (Australia DVD release) It has also been known as B13 on French posters used to advertise the film.
The film is notable for its depiction of parkour in a number of stunt sequences that were completed without the use of wires or computer generated effects. Because of this, some critics have drawn comparisons to the popular Thai film Ong-Bak.
David Belle, a founder of parkour, appears in the film as one of its protagonists, Leïto.

n 2010 social problems such as violence, drugs and organized crime have overrun the poorer suburbs of Paris and especially a Banlieue commonly referred to as B13 (Banlieue 13 – which translates to District 13 or Borough 13 in English) a ghetto with a population of some two million. Unable to control B13 the authorities construct a high wall topped by barbed wire around the entire area forcing the inhabitants within to survive without education, proper utilities or police protection behind the containment wall. Police checkpoints stop anybody going in or out.
Three years later an almost feudal system has developed amongst the street gangs of B13. The area is now flooded with hard drugs such as heroin and completely controlled by gangsters. Certain blocks are ruled over by various individuals and one high rise apartment block is looked after by an athletic and street-wise man known as Leïto (David Belle). Leïto hates drugs and injustice and wages a one-man war against a neighboring gang lord named Taha Bemamud (Bibi Naceri) to keep his own building and people safe and free of drugs. Leïto captures 20 kg of cocaine from Taha, worth over a million euro, which incites Taha to send his thugs to recover the merchandise, led by the towering K2 (Tony D'Amario). Leïto destroys the cocaine by using bleach and uses parkour to evade Taha's thugs through the building and across rooftops.
Taha kidnaps Leïto's younger sister Lola (Dany Verissimo) to use against him, but Leïto manages to invade Taha's base, rescue his sister, and kidnap Taha in turn. Leïto takes Taha to the police office at the edge of the district perimeter, but the police are in the process of abandoning their position on orders from the French Ministry, and are also threefold outnumbered by Taha's gang. The police release Taha and allow him to take Lola with him to avoid a confrontation. In addition, they put Leïto in a cell also to contain the situation, but Leïto kills the police chief in the process for handing over Lola. - Wikipedia

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French Film Collection(Film 69) DISTRICT 13 (2004)

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District 13: Ultimatum (French: Banlieue 13 Ultimatum) is a 2009 French film also known as Banlieue 14, District Thirteen 2, District B13: Ultimatum, and B13-u. The film, directed by Patrick Alessandrin, is the sequel to the 2004 French action film Banlieue 13. District 13 Ultimatum stars David Belle and Cyril Raffaelli reprising their original roles of Leito and Damien, respectively. Luc Besson, who co-produced and co-wrote District 13, is the screenwriter and producer.

Three years after the events of the original film, the authorities are attempting to return law and order to ravaged District 13. The death of gang overlord Taha Bemamud has left a power vacuum, and total control of the area is now being fought over by five rival territorial gang lords who want to step into Taha's position. After taking out a major drug dealer, Damien is framed for drug dealing and arrested, but manages to make a call to Leito.
Meanwhile, corrupt government agents from the Department of Internal State Security (DISS), led by Gassman are bent on destroying the five tower blocks at the heart of District 13 with tactical precision bombing, and building luxury flats after the area is cleared. In order to spark conflict with the district's gangs, they shoot several cops, dump their car in District 13, and prompt several gang members into gunning down the vehicle. The footage of the incident convinces the President to carry out the strike. However, a group of teens videotaped the agents as they shot the cops themselves. The DISS agents soon come after the teen to arrest him and seize the recording, but the youth manages to slip his memory card to Leito.
Leito escapes the cops in District 13 and goes to rescue Damien. After freeing Damien from his cell, they discuss the events and further plans, resolving to gather enough proof to expose the DISS agents. While Damien distracts the guards, Leito breaks into Gassman's office to steal his hard-drive for the evidence that they need. Once they escape and return to District 13, Damien and Leito convince the five gang lords to band together to prevent the destruction of the district. While the French president struggles with the decision to destroy District 13 even with the area evacuated, a large number of gang members storm parliament. When they eventually reach the president and show him the information that they acquired, Gassman takes the president hostage and tries to force him to carry out the mass demolition. Leito, Damien, and the gang lords succeed in freeing the president and incapacitating Gassman, earning the president's thanks and a promise to fund District 13's restoration.
With the conflict over and District 13 completely evacuated, the gang lords then decide that it would be better to rebuild District 13 from anew rather than trying to patch up its remnants. The movie ends with the president authorizing the strike and breathing a sigh of relief. - Wikipedia

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French Film Collection(Film 70) DISTRICT 13 ULTIMATUM (2009)

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