Friday, January 28, 2011
[Movie] Exterminator City
Scenic Exterminator City, the City of Tomorrow, boasts a population of a scant twenty-seven million. I'm not sure if that's just the number of humans, or if that includes the robots who seem to be the only ones to ever go anywhere or do anything, but it hardly matters. The important thing is that here, robots and humans live side by side in perfect harmony. Well, okay, given the amount of silicone jutting off the chest of every human in this movie, it might be more accurate to say robots and cyborgs, but that's really just splitting hairs. This futuristic utopia, which is evidently blanketed in perpetual night, has more porn stars than it has people to actually watch the porn. Seriously, the cast of this movie reads like the world's filthiest superhero team: Mistress Persephone, Jacklyn Lick, Syn DeVil, Lilith Stabs, and Fembomb are just a few of the headlining cock jockeys who have taken up residence in Exterminator City.
Killbot's crime does not go unpunished. Within moments, he is arrested by another robot, one whose prodigious robo-chin could only mean that he is the protagonist of this little picture. Detective Chinbot, as I've come to call him, carts the evil Killbot off to robo-jail. Now, the prospect of one robot beating up and arresting another, more evil robot might sound like some pretty exciting stuff to you. This is because you have not seen this movie and are dumb. Unfortunately, although the robots in the year 2027 are advanced enough to have complex social interactions, religious affiliations, and stupid accents, they have not advanced beyond a Disney World animatronics level of mobility. Picture two of the "It's a Small World After All" droids feebly pivoting their torsos in a vain attempt to push their fists into one another, and you have a good idea of the robot action in Exterminator City: mildly amusing at first, but quickly tiresome and somewhat insulting.
Finally free after three solid minutes behind bars, Killbot goes back to his old ways. When next we see him, he is taking a chainsaw to another topless porn star, who is conveniently tied up. Clive Cohen displays the genius of his directorial style, here. The murder scene is made up of two different shots flickered back and forth in succession: one of the victim screaming while we hear the sickening sound of a chainsaw eating through flesh, and another of Killbot chainsawing his way into the upper torso of his helpless prey. What is interesting here is that although we can clearly see Killbot saw the arms, and finally the head off of his victim, in the shots of the victim herself, her upper body is entirely visible, and Killbot is nowhere in sight. Clive Cohen seems to be suggesting that Killbot is such a good chainsawer that he can actually lop your arms and head clean off by chainsawing through your stomach. He can also poke you in the eye by stepping on your foot. Talented guy, that Killbot. He must be running on Windows Vista, which, by 2027, will probably be bug-free. Ba-zing! - Something Aweful
Available @ Demonoid.me Exterminator City (2005) DVDRip
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at 11:39 PM