Oh happy, joy joy. Happy, joy joy. Flying rainbows and beautiful birds all across the sky! It’s another perfect day in Zombieland. Grrrur was flying around excitedly, today is the day he finally gets to fly down to earth and eat some deliciously fresh brains. Oh joy. His mother, Grwrr, is so happy happy. Her little zombie has grown up.
Grrrurs’ teacher finally arrived, “Time to fly,” he growls. “Grrrur remember, it’s your first time so you go only for the little ones and only those who are alone. If you see a big one with a shiny thing in its hand, fly away as fast as you can!”
“Zombie Yes Zombie,” growl out loud Grrrur.
The trip is long and exhausting for Grrrurs’ little wings. He trained hard but never flew that long before and under ZombieLand, the air is so putrid and dirty. Something inside of him is tinkling when he breathes in the polluted air but he is too nervous to enjoy it. Still he is uber excited. Soon he will be ripping out the skull of a tiny infant and suck its delicious brain. A fresh little brain that will slowly drip down his throat!
“GRRWRRWRWRWRRr,” yelled Grrrur excitedly.
“Ok Grrrur. This is a park. Here little infants come to play and the large ones usually hang out in groups further away. We will hide in that bush and wait for one to separate from the group. You need to be very silent.”
“GRRRuRRyRa,” said Grrrur quietly. Whatever that meant, Grrrurs’ teacher knew that his pupil would do well and make him proud.
Little Timmy was shoving sand in his plastic truck. The driver of the truck, a big juicy red worm that Timmy had plan to chew on later was, for now, named Larry the truck driver just like his father. Timmy loved his father and also loved to chew on big juicy worms.
“Omnomnomnom,” Timmy goes and the worm is all chewed up and making is way down to Timmy’s stomach.
Timmy is happy but the little girl next to Timmy was yelling.
“Eww, gross, you’re disgusting Timmy!”
She was really pissing him off. He imagined her being a big juicy worm and chewing on her so that her terribly annoying screeching goes away. Little Timmy grabbed hjs truck and decide to go on an expedition.
“Broom broom broom,” Timmy goes.
Grrrur is barely able to contain himself, “Hold on Grrrur! Just a little longer”
But Grrrur cannot wait and jumps out of the bushes!
“Grwdjslrrrwhdu,” Grrur screamed! He meant to say “Grrrrrrrwrrrwrurrcr,” but in the excitement the growls just didn’t come out right.
Grrrur didn’t care about that he had to focus on the task at hand. Grrrur landed right on little Timmy. He opened his mouth wide and took a big bite. It was tasty yet a bit hard to chew on. Grrrur almost regurgitated when Timmy’s’ fingers went down his throat, but it’s ok.
“Don’t expect to get the head on the first attempt, just spit it out and take another bite,” shouted Grrrurs’ teacher.
Grrrur opened his mouth wide again and took another bite, this time it was a lot more enjoyable. The chewiness of little Timmy’s’ face was quite a delicacy, yet not as delicious as a fresh brain would be.
The little annoying girl began screaming like a crazy little bitch on crack. Grrrur was startled and not knowing what to do, decided to jump on the little girl and chew at her neck. At first it went something like.
“Momslurpslurp gulp MY slurp blood splatter HEL... splurg glap,” but finally peace and quiet at last. ...
Mr Phallus
Proof read by Sheri G
