Existence is futile

I just had a great idea to get me out of the shit of a being with no purpose that I am right now. Just like every other great idea I have had in the past, excluding the last year of a completely empty head 24/7, it mainly focus on something I would very much enjoy doing and, just like every other great idea I have had in the past, it won't happen!

I'm not a defeatist. If that is the idea you have of me you are completely wrong. For one thing, I do not believe in faith. For an other, people have had thing happen to them without wishing it or ever working for it so you can stick that "If you want you can" bullcrap up your constricted anus!

I am a doer. I do not just sit there an complain about good things not happening to me, I make sure they won't happen! And in order to make sure that nothing good ever happens to me I have to always be on step ahead. So I think a lot. I think about a bright and beautiful future for myself. One in which I play my part, in which I have a purpose.

In a way, i am kind of like a psychic playing Chess not against his self but rather against no one and the goal of the game is to make sure you lose.

For the people who have known success all of their life or have failed but always got right back up until they wouldn't fail anymore, this is kind of hard to understand but you just can't imagine in how many ways you can make sure you will never succeed. It's even easier when you think one step ahead.

Then, in my case, being talentless makes thing are a little easier. It's somewhat easy to fail when you are good at nothing.

Or I'm just a lazy ass..?